Dear working moms, stay-at-home moms, expecting moms, aspiring moms, grandmas, grandmas-to-be, and anyone interested in the thoughts, actions, choices, feelings, struggles and joys of the wonderful mothers I know or yet to get to know.
I’m opening my Interesting Moms section today with a stellar woman – my dear friend Stacy Suaya. The photo above was taken on a casual, yes casual, stroll with the kids when Soren (here shamelessly with a pacifier) and I visited Stacy and her two wonderful boys Tiago and Valentino in Los Angeles last year. I’m way overdue with this post but you know, better now than never.
To the world Stacy is known as a Los Angeles-based writer with an emphasis on food, fashion, wellness and travel. She has contributed to the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Angeleno Magazine and AFAR.com. Her debut novel, represented by Michelle Richter at Fuse Literary, is coming soon.
To me, she is an incredible human being, an old soul, the most genuine person I know, direct, honest and caring friend. She is someone who lives to learn and improve herself and the world. She is always hungry for new ideas and trends be it in the realm of raising kids or preparing healthy foods.
The quality that I admire in her the most is that she is in tune with herself and is not afraid of judgement of others. She doesn’t fall into the trap of a self-pitying mommyhood. When she’s had it with her kids, she calls for help right away. To her, being emotionally vibrant and healthy for her children is top priority.
Here is what Stacy had to share with me. Keep reading.
Do you love/value yourself more now that you are a mom?
Yes, I feel less selfish, more loving, and in general, I have new dimension. I’m reading a book right now called Quantum Wellness, and the author says that engaging your multiple intelligences (whether musical, mathematical, intuitive, or as yet undefined) you light up different areas of the brain, creating more space for a broader breakthrough. Since I’ve had children, not only am I engaging a new skill set by mothering and learning about childhood development, I’ve also recently taken up cooking as a conduit for feeding the whole family healthier foods. I can only imagine what will happen if either of them develop an interest in music or art! It’s such a fun adventure.
What would you like you kids to be like when they grow up?
At peace with whatever choices they make, and strong enough to meet all the challenges that come their way.
Do you compare yourself to other moms?
Only if it’s constructive, like taking cooking and nutrition lessons from you! Other than that, I try to remember the phrase “keep your eyes on your own paper.”
How do you treat yourself? What do you do for yourself to relax and get away? How often?
I’ve recently gotten into meditation. I highly recommend that. I try to go to a guided group meditation for 45 minutes at least once a week, and I’ve been meditating for 10 minutes a day with the Headspace app. It’s like a mini-vacation.
What advice would you give your younger self on what not to worry about during pregnancy/birth/raising kids?
Pregnancy: Plan something exciting or relaxing for the time surrounding the due date. Even if it’s binge-watching some show you never had time for or treating yourself to multiple spa dates. I gave birth a week late during both pregnancies, and I was so desperate to get each out, it was all I could focus on to try everything in the book: spicy foods, walking, etc. None of it works!
Birth: Don’t try to be a hero! If you’re getting an epidural, ask for it before your pain is excruciating, since it takes a few minutes for them to prepare it. I waited too long, trying to impress my husband and mother with my pain tolerance. I regret that!
Raising kids: Be present. I know everyone has short attention spans these days, but zeroing in on them and really watching them bloom is a miracle.
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